It's:

It’s where a guy can wear a suit with flip-flops and still be considered a legitimate businessman.

It’s the home of Family Circus.

It’s the dude at the John Wayne Airport dragging his suitcase behind him on his skateboard – OC rolly bag style.

It’s the sport of competitive picnicking.

It’s where the June bugs come out in July.

It’s the black Bentley with the vanity plate that reads “UFCVIP.”

It’s the Orange County Standard of Hotness: white blonde hair, beach-tanned skin, augmented boobs, trainer-sculpted bod, fake nails, couture sportswear, giant sunglasses and a gold cross necklace, in other words “Conservative-Christian-MILF.”

It’s tearing out your lawn and putting in a drought-tolerant succulent garden.

It’s the busboy at the gourmet eatery rolling around on the bar floor and giggling with excitement when Mexico scores a gol against France during the FIFA World Cup.

It’s the Border Patrol Agents walking their beat around Dana Point Harbor.

It’s a crow in a coral tree.

It’s the tattooed mommas of Orange County.

It’s dining al fresco for breakfast, lunch and dinner in mid-March.

It’s the shirtless jogger with an unnatural-looking sandy bronze hair helmet reminiscent of Ken doll’s.

It’s the hundreds of strip malls where you can grab a burrito, see a psychic, kick back with a sake, get a mani-pedi, sell your gold, and buy things you really don’t need for just 99 cents.

It’s glass fences around houses miles from the sea and with views of busy parkways.

It's:

It’s overhearing this conversation between a man and a woman in the supermarket checkout line: (They are both very tall and very skinny, and are only purchasing one item -- a pint of chicken soup from the deli.)

Man: So, should we eat the soup, watch the movie and then go in the spa?
Woman: Well, I’ve been thinking about this.
Man: I thought you might have been.
Woman: I’ve been thinking about this chicken soup all day.
Man: We could watch the movie, eat the soup, and go in the spa.
Woman: Yeah. Or we could go in the spa, eat the soup and then watch the movie. But it might be better to eat the soup, watch the movie and then go in the spa.
Man: Or we could eat the soup in the spa.
Woman: We could.

It’s how you can tell how good your Hollywood agent is by the amount of grammatical errors in his e-mails to you -- the more errors, the better he is, since he is so important he doesn’t have time to focus on trivial things like proper English language usage and grammar.

It’s the tendency of drivers in Orange County to move heaven and earth so they can park their cars into parking spaces with the front facing outwards.

It’s the white-outlined sea turtle or hibiscus flower stickers on the back windows of cars and SUVs that desperately try to evoke a mahalo attitude, but which actually end up reminding me of chalk outlines at crime scenes.

It’s usually thousands of miles away from where its citizens grew up.